• Name: Grace Morris
• PhD Programme: Architecture and Civil Engineering
• Type of study: Full-time
• Length of PhD: October 2017 – July 2024
• University: University of Bath
• Children: Three children aged five, three, and three (twins)
• Childcare: Nursery, school and family
• Stipend: £15k, increased to £17.7k in late 2022 (£1,475 pcm)
• Nursery Fees: £350 pcm (for food only, 9-3 term time only using 30 hours funded childcare)

Grace’s Story:

“I started my PhD in October 2017 and I am pleased to say that I submitted last week (July 2024), almost 7 years since I began. Why so long when I’m not a part-time student? Well, I am a mother of three children aged 5 and under. I never realised when I started quite how unsuited a PhD was for balancing with childcare.

My passion is for the conservation of historic buildings; their conservation and continued use is key to reducing carbon emissions whilst enhancing the identity of places. I undertook my PhD to contribute to the advancement of building reuse potential. My topic was predominantly laboratory based, so working from home was typically not an option. This became tricky to balance when I returned to work 9 months after the birth of our eldest child.

Despite my partner being in a stable job and me receiving a stipend, we were never eligible for more than 15 hours free childcare, and this was only once our eldest turned three. A PhD is not recognised as work in this instance for receiving 30 hours of childcare. But how can one be expected to work in the meantime (after maternity/paternity leave) when the average childcare costs are circa £15k for 50 hours a week, and a stipend is in the same region? There is no support for postgraduates.

We are so privileged to have close family and friends. We muddled through with their help for childcare, and my mum retired solely to help four days a week. Without her I would have been forced to quit. I have found it mentally challenging relying on the generosity of family and friends that much. I spent every moment on campus working, because taking a break meant I was wasting donated time. But it got harder.

The second time around we had twins.

Twins are enough to price anyone out of nursery spots. There is no working ‘when the baby sleeps’. There’s not really any sleep. My partner’s mum also retired to muck in. The guilt of leaving one person to juggle three aged 3 and under is almost unbearable. I continued with no breaks. I felt like a failed ‘adult’ still relying so heavily on my family. If I can’t manage this, am I really fit to be a parent? Do I just quit? Do I drop to part-time but then fail to support my family financially? My work suffered. My partner suffered. My children suffered.

In early 2023, after years of struggling and spiralling down, I was signed off for three months with depression. Yet another blow to the thesis, but at least I managed to get myself on track. In November 2023 I picked up a part-time job so that I could get my twins to nursery for 30 hours and not lose their spot. Consequently, I worked 7 days a week until I submitted last week. To hear your children say that they miss you, even though you are sometimes working under the same roof, is painful. I missed them too.

I owe my completion to my family and friends and you had best believe I have cashed in on ALL THE CUDDLES this weekend with my three little besties.”

Content correct as of July 2024